AIN Contributor

Sheryl Barden

Have you ever left a job because the leader you worked for avoided tough decisions? Maybe they did so because they hoped problems would vanish, or they lacked the emotional insight or confidence to make tough decisions, which might have ended up creating a toxic culture. After all, both issues fuel low morale and resentment.
On that note, you’ve likely heard the phrase, “People don’t leave jobs; they leave their leaders.” So the question is, what separates good aviation leaders from great ones?
It’s not just having technical expertise; rather, it’s managerial courage and emotional intelligence. Managerial courage means taking decisive action—making tough calls, addressing conflict through constructive feedback conversations, and holding people accountable. Emotional intelligence ensures that those actions are delivered with empathy, self-awareness, and thoughtful, two-way communication.
Having worked with hundreds of aviation and maintenance directors as well as chief pilots throughout my career, I’ve seen firsthand how these two skills can make or break aviation leaders.
And I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve sometimes failed by not addressing small issues before they escalated to become larger ones. It’s a lesson I’ve learned the hard way: avoiding uncomfortable conversations and not being an effective communicator only makes problems worse.
<h2>Sharpening Managerial Courage</h2>
So let’s take a look at some things that we can do to better manage our staff or teams by honing or acquiring managerial courage:
<ul>
<li>Address issues early. Tackle concerns before they escalate. Avoiding tough conversations creates bigger problems.</li>
<li>Provide honest feedback. Be direct but empathetic. People crave clarity about their performance.</li>
<li>Set clear expectations. Everyone should know what’s expected. Consistency builds trust.</li>
<li>Hold yourself and others accountable. Accountability maintains standards and fairness.</li>
<li>When necessary, make unpopular decisions. Balancing team well-being with business realities takes guts.</li>
</ul>
<h2>Building Emotional Intelligence</h2>
And, likewise, here are a few keys to developing and applying a greater sense of emotional intelligence in the workplace:
<ul>
<li>Self-awareness. How do you show up? Are team members sharing ideas with you—or bypassing you? Are you genuinely encouraging the ideas of others? Are you welcoming dissenting opinions?</li>
<li>Self-regulation. What are your triggers? Respond thoughtfully, not reactively.</li>
<li>Listen for understanding. Show empathy and seek to understand before responding.</li>
<li>Effective communication. Adjust your style to fit each team member’s needs, not just what feels comfortable.</li>
</ul>
<h2>Why Ignoring These Skills Can Harm Your Culture</h2>
I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to heed these two critical components of strong leadership. As I’ve noted, leaders who avoid tough conversations and tough decisions tend to generate toxic cultures where problems fester and morale drops. In fact, Gallup, in one of its polling projects, found that companies with high engagement are 18% more productive and 23% more profitable.
But what is the most damaging failure in this regard? It happens to be “ostrich leadership”—burying your head in the sand, hoping that these issues somehow resolve themselves. Aviation leaders can’t afford that, nor can any leaders for that matter. They must champion culture with consistent actions that demonstrate both courage and emotional intelligence.
<h2>Turning Tough Conversations into Opportunities</h2>
It’s a given that being direct and framing conversations with mutual respect helps you pave the way for productive dialogue. Even when it’s a tough conversation.
Here’s one way to address a sensitive issue: “I’d like to discuss a comment you made during our last meeting that was demeaning to one of your colleagues. Our agreed-upon team values are to treat each other with respect. Comments that make another feel ‘less than’ erode our team’s productivity and they limit our creativity. And one thing I know about you is that you care about our team, its members, and our results.”
In this example, you’re raising a delicate topic, but doing so diplomatically, respectfully, and with both care and candor, helping them feel safe to explore the issue with you.
By the same token, prior to having tough conversations, it’s important to set the stage for openness and honesty:
<ul>
<li>Check in to see if the receiver is open to receiving feedback at that time. If the timing isn’t right, set a time to have the conversation very soon.</li>
<li>Set expectations and define the outcome. Be clear about what you want to discuss. For example, “Let’s align on how to handle similar situations moving forward.”</li>
<li>Be direct yet caring. For example, “What I know about you is that you care about our team.”</li>
</ul>
<h2>Connecting through Communication</h2>
Great leaders know that communication isn’t about broadcasting—it’s about connecting. Each team member processes information differently. That’s why you’ll want to find the right approach for each person and optimize your connection based on the individual.
In a flight department, for example, a maintenance director might prefer data-driven updates, while on the other hand, a scheduler might need context and discussion. The goal is to find that all-important key and personalize your approach for a more productive conversation.
Ask yourself, how do I show up as a communicator? Consider the following:
<ul>
<li>Influence with presence. Do I intentionally show up with positive energy?</li>
<li>Adopt a learning mindset. Do I focus on learning from each encounter rather than being right? And do I admit it when I don’t know something?</li>
<li>Be curious. Do I ask thoughtful questions to understand motivations and concerns? And do I listen when others share their ideas and concerns?</li>
<li>Be clear and don’t assume understanding. Do I speak clearly and avoid vague language? And do I frame my points clearly and check for understanding?</li>
</ul>
<h2>Lead through Learning</h2>
One of the fundamentals of great leadership is to recognize that it isn’t about knowing everything—it’s about constant learning. The objective is to seek feedback, invest in coaching, read books, listen to podcasts, take continuing education courses, and model personal growth. And always encourage team input with open-ended questions and resist jumping to solutions.
By honing managerial courage and emotional intelligence, making clear asks, and giving clear and caring feedback in a timely fashion, you’ll create a culture where employees feel valued, respected, and motivated to perform their best.
Lacking these skills can ground entire teams. And, since replacing talent is costly, sharpening these leadership skills isn’t optional—it’s essential.
Sheryl Barden, CAM, is the CEO of Aviation Personnel International, the longest-running recruiting and HR consulting firm exclusively serving business aviation. A thought leader on all things related to business aviation professionals, Barden is an NBAA CAM Fellow and formerly served on NBAA’s board of directors and its advisory council.
The opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and are not necessarily endorsed by AIN Media Group.

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